Its been awhile since I have visited here. It seems like life has me going around In circles. I’m doing the same repetitive things I do everyday ,get up go to work go to the trainer visit the beau go home go to bed wake up repeat

My mind is going a hundred miles a minute ..Get a apartment live with the beau get apartment with the kid , keep dating the beau stop dating the beau ,wait I really don’t want to do that . I just need more time there I go again second guessing myself ..

No one is perfect I cant keep looking for someone that is.. I have a good time with him 95% of the time. Its the other 5 % of the time that I am worried about .. Should I be worried ? I worry about connecting all my relationships together.. Is it bad that I have been with the beau for two years and the kid (my son) has only seen him twice .or the fact that we always hang with his friends and not mine ..How can I even think of moving in with someone and bringing along the kid with me if they have never really even socialized with each other ..I haven’t even started talking about his child that will probably be living with us if we were to move in together.

No wonder I cant sleep at night ….Time is ticking the beau is doing his steps in getting his life together , I guess I need to step up to the plate and get my life in order ..I think I’m gonna start hyperventilating even as I type this my thoughts are all over the place ..I want out of the sandbox this adult thing sucks


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