RELOCATED

The Puerto Rican city princess has relocated to, yikes the boonies …The country where the nearest store is definitely not walking distance ,See I have no problem walking anywhere as long as there is a sidewalk of some sort, this dirt road and hills thing is something I am not use to….Dont get me wrong I like the whole jeans and plaid shirts thing I can make it look cute but sometimes I just want to look pretty with a pretty dress and hair all made up and heels that don’t have mud all over them .. whaaaaa .

The beau is here so here is where I will be, stand by your man like the country song goes. Yeah my life here can definitely be a country song or a soap opera .I didn’t quite get it when he kept telling me you need a better car here ,that little Toyota you have will not survive the winter here. Cocky Puerto rican that I am I kept telling him uh uh my Toyota will do just fine here never you mind…..

A couple of months into moving in with him what does my (precious) car do …yup it dies on me . Of course my beau is like I told you so ugh I hate when I’m wrong and he’s right. lol

Live and learn I am learning from scratch here . Its like looking at a recipe and trying to make sure you have all the ingredients and if you don’t doing with what you have . It’s been awhile since I’ve co-habituated with someone over twenty eight years to be exact.

MY kid is grown thou he will always be my baby. Before I met my beau it was all about me the princess in the penthouse and all my adventures. I came and left when I wanted no one to answer to except for the kid and he was happy that I was living my life to the fullest.

Dating with the beau was fun and interesting living with him has gone to a whole other level. It went from me and him to me him son daughter and grandson and occasionally his ex wife !!! One happy family sort of kind of its a work in progress there are lessons to be learned from both sides I pray every day for peace forgiveness and patience lots of patience…

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PENTHOUSE NO MORE

In a blink of a eye ,change has happened. I took that leap of faith and walked away from my comfort zone. The luxury of my penthouse (haha)with that I mean my third floor apartment where I never worried of someone breaking in because of the flight of stairs lol.I walked away from my parents cooking for me and the kid (my son) thou he stayed behind he’s shy in asking for food where I would just go downstairs and say what’s for dinner lol can you feed me please,

I now live where they don’t believe in locking the doors with locks ,everyone walks in without knocking and everyone fends for themselves , including the nine year old.

What’s for dinner is cereal or take out food if they don’t like what the princess (me) has cooked, sometimes I fee like Cinderella ,I clean I cook I wash and no one appreciates it. Except for my beau part time farmer aka 57 . He eats whatever I give him ,and the nine year old grandson is learning and liking my cooking even the Spanish food.

In the end I have to get over the fact that I just cant please everyone, nor should I have to. I’m here for my beau and Mr Riley because I feel that every child should have as much of a normal child hood as possible .He says I’m like his grandmother I tell him no I’m more like your fairy God mother lol

10/17/2017

Evening at the penthouse , where I’m having me time weather I want it or not . I’ve been cooking and keeping house for the beau and his grandson for about two weeks ..I was feeling like we were a family with that family comes The up and down of family life but we were dealing with it ..today I’m stranded At home my home away from my beau and my little mr Riley and thou it’s been nice to have my space and just do nothing I find myself missing my chaotic like with my beau and his family and my little mr Riley yup I’m in it for the long haul there’s no turning back now 

INTERMISSION

Morning coffee in the penthouse…. I’m back after a brief intermission because of life. Don’t you wish you could just press a button and intermittently stop the world for just a little bit. I just need enough time to soak all this in. My life is changing and I feel like a passenger on a bus who keeps pressing the stop button but the bus keeps going. Life as I know it I think is never going to be the same again.

Be careful what you wish for, in the heat of a moment you say things that you just cant take back. Then you get that phone call and you think things will never be the same again For a few days life goes on as usual. No one talks about the big elephant in the room and what were going to do about it.

We all handle it different some will pray, pray harder some will curse the life they have been given and ask why , why cant she be like her brothers why was she cursed with this. While others will not look in the mirror afraid of what they will see that maybe just maybe they could of tried harder no they wont look in the mirror they wont talk about it except to maybe blame someone else for it .We are all to blame and we are not .

You can only hold a child hand for so long eventually you have to let go and trust that they know right from wrong know their demons and are strong enough to fight them back .Not all of them will be lucky enough or strong enough to not give in and play with fire. Two out of three is not bad I guess, but as I watch her sleep looking so innocent I pray why, why cant she beat this ..

And in a blink of a eye things change , One moment your at your wits end with a person .Saying i don’t need this bullshit in my life right now .The next your standing next to her hospital bed thinking OMG I can’t believe this happened , was it something I said was I out of line in saying what I said .

She looks so peaceful sleeping , you wouldn’t think she was the same screaming lunatic from the nite before or the girl who was doing heaven only knows what all nite long into the wee hours of the morning . The girl that went from screaming and blaming everybody to crying about her fucked  up life.

No hear lies the girl that was misunderstood when she was younger .Who wants to do better but can’t seem to fit in . Who loves her baby boy to pieces . Along with her parents and siblings .

Seventy two  hours and she can do whatever she wants , sign herself out leave and continue her chaotic life .. or she can stay and maybe just maybe get the help she needs ..Maybe  this was a call for help . I know it sounds so cliche but I really want to believe that she’s ready to be part of society and be the mother that her little boy need her to be ..

Fingers crossed and lots of prayers that this will be a turning point in her life for the better 🙏She’s decided to stay

and I’m back, so much to write about, so little time to write it … Life has been crazy lately what with the hurricane Irma affecting family in Puerto Rico and now Florida a couple of deaths in between and child neglect in the mix cause that’s how this princess in the penthouse rolls.

 Never a dull moment .weather its with my family or the beaus family …I guess its the price you pay for coming from a big family ..or having a big heart..People die everyday some affect you more then others and sometimes they don’t affect you at all. What affects me a lot lately is the neglect that people have for their loved ones weather their young or old it just seems like no one really wants to go all out ,, There’s always a agenda or something better they can be doing

.. I get it we all have our busy lives, but there some things you shouldn’t slack off on , like the caring of a nine year old the future of tomorrow what kind of leader is he going to be if he has no one to guide him in his productive years ..

I know from experience that it takes a community to raise a child I lived those words and I’am forever grateful to my community for helping me raise my child .I was present the community was just there to give a helping hand when I had to work .when I needed it . I worked a full time job still made all the school meeting and activities ,, 

Then we have people who have no problem leaving their kids with who ever don’t care if the kid did his homework or even ate for that matter Gives him a computer so he can entertain himself ,doesn’t pick up a book to read to him or pick up the phone when the kid calls repeatily looking for her.. Sees no problem that the kid is a misfit probably depressed and mal nutricient and longing for love and affection and discipline 

Saturday  09/16/17

 Morning coffee on the run after a sleepless nite .Thinking of almost skipping step class but I won’t got to  get back on my routine ,Friday nite cleaning a bedroom and it wasn’t even by house yet says the beau .. His house and his exes , she wants to get on with her life so she’s been spending days with her boyfriend . Says she needs to get on with her life I agree we all need to get on with our lives hence cleaning of this bedroom of one of his kids who hasn’t been in it for  what it seems forever ..

MORNIG COFFEE 09/15/187

Morning coffee in the penthouse, where if I could sip my coffee thru a straw I would..The cup feels like a 25 kettle bell ugh .Another sleepless nite. Oh Mr Sandman where the hell are you…Nobody is playing nice with this princess. A week of slacking off with the eating and exercising has caught up with me oh and lets not forget not taking the meds that’s probably the biggest culprit..

I am not happy with this new life style I’ve been dealt with. I refuse to let it get the best of me, tho at times I feel like it is . I’m giving myself a year to get my life together mentally and physically . I will not let this (bitch) fibromyalgia get the best of me

That’s my pep talk for the day. As I cringe every stroke I take as I hit the keyboard . Thinking others have it worse and continue on , and so will I ..lipstick in hand smile on my face peace out my peeps

Wednesday 09/14/17

Morning coffee on my way to a different job site filling in . Where apparently I almost didn’t give myself time enough to get to my destination, let alone get coffee and food. Traffic all over the place and add to the chaos fire truck siren blasting I pull to the nearest fast food shop oh and what do I see the sirens are pulling in too.. Hope this isn’t a sign of how my day is gonna be.

Uneventful nite which doesn’t happen that often my poor trainer looked like she was in more pain then me. She is definitely my motivation she has lupus among other health issues but she still pushes thru and she pushes her clients as well .just what this newbie princess to fibromyalgia needs, no time to cry we have a life to live .. off to spread some sunshine on this gloomy day lipstick in hand smile on my face peace out my peeps